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Tang Police – The Forum Vigilantes

Posted on Wednesday, January 12th, 2011 at 10:50 am by
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If you’re a regular on the forums, chances are you’ve heard the term “Tang Police” or at least seen the abbreviation TP. The Tang Police are a group of individuals, not sworn in by any government body, that browse through forums and attack anyone with a less-than ideal aquarium-to-tang ratio. Tang Police generally do not like to be identified, or even more so called “Tang Police”. Apparently its not a nice name to call someone. They are vigilantes working to better the lives of tangs, and they have no shame calling someone out who is abusing their finned-friends quality of life.

You can spot a TP’s citations very easily with these few key elements:

  • They will attack a newbie for even mentioning a potential stock list for their 20 Gallon Long that just happened to include a very small tang. The attack will be crass and most likely a tag-team styled event. The newbie’s spirits should be crushed by the end of this and their likelihood of using the forum is now slim. That is a sign that the TP have been at the scene of the crime.
  • Anytime a mention of having a tang in anything less than a 240 gallon tank occurs, several people write in response to your “cruel” practice and call you “irresponsible”. If the original poster is an experienced reef-keeper they might choose to fight back leading to a very long thread of hateful banter. This too is a sign that the TP are actively working the forums.
  • The final sign of TP brutality is the anthropomorphizing of tangs and trying to get the victim/original poster to “feel” what the tang feels. This approach is absolutely brilliant and totally tries to guilt the offender into submission. You can spot this violation of conduct, by this simple line “How would you feel if…?”

The Tang Police are an impressive group of unknowns that enjoy the hunt. They are the unpaid bounty hunters of the online reef community and their tactless approaches often leave newbies crushed, long-timers pissed, and the rest of us laughing.

If you are bored and looking for a kick, just create a new profile and mention that you are “New to the hobby, and you just put a Lieutenant Tang in your 29 gallon it seems to be doing well. I am certain that within moments a Lieutenant of the Tang Police will be busting into your post and reading you the riot act. Enjoy.

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4 Responses to “Tang Police – The Forum Vigilantes”

  1. REEF2REEF says:

    This is so true and so funny! The TP are tainted and corrupt! HA!

  2. charlietang says:

    You can’t keep Tang in a 240gallon tank, you need at least a tank with 1875872646587^e^9179865386587gallons to keep a tang. You are sooo ignorant.

  3. John says:

    Surprised to see an apparently informed commentator such as yourself commenting on this issue at all, and even more surprised that in doing so you’re apparently siding with those that don’t appear to think that swimming space for active fish deserves any consideration at all. Shame.

  4. Sad Tang says:

    It is so sad that my fellow Tang’s are being held hostage by people in small nano aquariums. I blame most of this on the desire to be saved by the TP and not the original Tang Nazi’s.

    We’re not Americans, we’re Tangs who happen to be in America. We were kidnapped and brought here against our will from the LFS. We didn’t land on Live Rock – that rock landed on us.

    Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my fellow Tangs.

    And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the 300 gallon aquarium.

    I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these tanks to be self-evident, that large tanks are best.”

    I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former nano Tangs and the sons of former nano Tang owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

    I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of high nitrates, sweltering with hair algae so long I will not eat it, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

    I have a dream that my four little fry will one day live in a tank where they will not be bought just for the color of their skin but will be bought so they can swim free like in the ocean.

    I have a dream today!

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